Here's another picture from the shower at the church. The head table where we were seated was decorated with two creative bouquets of lilies (how appropriate) made of pipe cleaners and cut paper. Thanks to the artistic girls (and moms) from our congregation! 
If you'd like to see more pictures from our shower, click here.
In case you were wondering, I'm feeling a lot better after my recent bout with pneumonia. My energy level is increasing, but I still have a pretty scratchy voice. Now, I just have to avoid the bird flu when I finally get to China!
Our church gave us a baby shower last Sunday. Here's a picture of the cake. Thanks to all the gracious people at Messiah Lutheran Church! You can click on the image below to see a larger version.
Well, I now know how to say "Where is the lavatory?" in Chinese. I also can say "Where is the bus...taxi...restaurant...hotel?" All handy traveler's questions. Now the question is: how will I understand the replies once I ask those questions? Thankfully, there will be a translator with the group of prospective Bethany parents traveling together. But I'm still working on learning a few more helpful words, like "The lavatory is at the end of the hallway" or "Around the corner."For Lily's sake, more important than my learning Chinese, of course, is learning how to be a good parent...and learning about the specific issues involved in a cross-cultural adoption.This will be our first parenting experience, as most of you know. (By the way, the symbols you see above are the symbols for "father" and "mother.") How do most people learn how to be parents? I suppose it's primarily from the parental models that they had in their lives. After that, there's probably a bit of "shooting from the hip." But before Julie and I strap on our holsters, we can always look to the wonderful examples our own parents set for us. Both of us were blessed with stable family environments. That will go a long way toward establishing that same type of environment for Lily. And advice is just a cell phone call or email away.As you can imagine, there are some unique things about our situation. Our child will not look like us. Questions from others will abound. We will be stared at in the mall. We will have to sensitively teach our daughter about why she was in an orphanage in the first place. There may be no background information about her birth parents.And then there's all the not-so-unique things that every parent in every culture faces as they raise a child.Julie and I have been reading a number of books for our "coursework" in "Cross-cultural Parenting 101." Some times it feels like drinking from a firehose, but hopefully getting doused with all that information will pay off in the end.Two of our favorite books so far have been A Passage to the Heart and The Lost Daughters of China. A Passage to the Heart is a collection of newsletter articles from chapters of Families with Children from China. It has a wealth of information about the adoption process, travelling tips, cultural issues, and medical advice. The Lost Daughters of China is journalist Karin Evans' description of her adoption journey, along with a poignant description of the social and political climate that has created such an overwhelming need for homes for so many little girls...and not a few boys with special needs.Cross-cultural Adoption is a slim but great resource. The subtitle explains its contents: "How to Answer Questions from Family, Friends, and Community." It asks a series of questions, then gives a simple answer geared toward small children, and a longer tactful answer geared toward older children and adults.We've also read The International Adoption Handbook, Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother, and Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew. Attaching in Adoption is still on the desk, waiting to be opened.Then there's also What to Expect: The First Year and What to Expect: The Toddler Years. If Lily ends up being close to 12 months old when we bring her home, we may not be spending too much time in the former volume, but the latter will probably be a constant reference for at least a few years. Which will probably feel like a whirlwind. Before you know it, she'll be dating...and then that holster will literally come in handy.And after all this drinking from a firehose, my question is..."Where is the lavatory?"
Granted, our daughter will grow up to speak English and will culturally be an American. But we also want her to be exposed to some of the language and culture of her birth country. Plus, I thought it would be fun and informative to learn a little Chinese before our trip. So, I've been learning a few words and simple sentences from a computer program I found at Half Price Books. I still haven't learned the all important traveller's question, "Where is the restroom?" The only words I can consistently remember at this point are "mother," "horse," "hemp," and "scold." Boy, those are really going to come in handy.
By the way, the symbol at the beginning of this post is the Chinese symbol for "love." Click here to see the symbols for a host of other words in Chinese.
Tomorrow it will be one year since we first met with our adoption caseworker from Bethany Christian Services. After prayerful consideration, we decided to adopt a child from China. As many of you already know, we fully expect our child to be a girl. For a variety of social and cultural reasons, that is what is primarily available in Chinese orphanages. She will most likely be between 8 months and 1 year old.
After months of paperwork, home-study interviews, fingerprinting, and getting up-to-date passports, our dossier was filed in China on May 24, 2005. Generally, families receive a referral six months after their dossier is filed. That means that sometime in late November we hope to have a name, a picture, any known medical history, and the name of the city and province where our child was born. At that point, we prepare for our trip to China, which should come six to eight weeks after we receive our referral. Kurt will be travelling with Julie's cousin Jan...an experienced traveller, mother, and great friend.
Our daughter's Chinese name will become her middle name. We are already calling her by the name we have chosen..."Lily." She's out there somewhere. I find myself looking often at the map of China in our World Atlas wondering where she is and what she is doing right now.
Julie and I have finally decided to enter the world of blogging. We've done this in order to give our friends and family a chance to hear what's going on with our adoption journey. This will also serve as sort of an online journal for any other thoughts that we may wish to share with you about our experiences. You are welcome to keep checking back for new posts and updates.
The title "Red Thread to Marysville" is based on something we read in the book The Lost Daughters of China. Author Karen Evans writes about an old Chinese story which says that from the moment you are born, a red string around your ankle ties you to the one you will eventually marry. "Lately," Evans explains further, "the red thread idea has been taken up by the Chinese American adoption community, to include parents and children who are destined to be together--even though an ocean may lie between them initially." (p. 141)
The closer we get to the day we receive our gift from God, the stronger we feel the tug of that "red thread." There is a red thread between our daughter in China and our hearts here in Marysville.
It's also appropriate that we begin this blog today, the day of the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival. On this day in China, people of all ages stay up to gaze at the moon, eat "mooncakes," and reflect on the blessings of family. Well, Julie and I are not out gazing at the moon...it's cloudy. And we already ate a mooncake at a local supermarket a couple of days ago. But we are reflecting on the blessings of family, and saying a prayer for our daughter for whom we are waiting.
